"IT? Oh THAT..! Enough to know you are in serious danger now that the Witch-Queen knows you're here. But I have a fast motor-car stashed in Butterbore's garage for a quick getaway."
Fido blanched. "The W-Witch Queen?"
"Yes!" retorted Snider in a strained voice. "Do you want her to find you in some dark alley where there is no one to hear your screams? She is terrible!"
"Then that - that floosie, is in league with her?"
Snider nodded.

Fido's attention was suddenly distracted by a commotion at the bar. Jam Spongee was giving the locals a colourful account of Bingo's birthday party. Fido fidgeted uncomfortably as the silly Robbit launched into a description of the old Robbit's vanishing act.
"You'd better do something quick!" hissed Snider in his ear.
Fido jumped onto the table, slipped in a puddle of beer, and came crashing down on top of Stingo.
Stingo squealed with delight and fumbled for Fido's crotch. Soon, his hand was in Fido's pants and groping for the precious treasure he'd dreamed of. He gasped as his fingers closed on something hard and shiny. Fido cried out a warning, but it was too late. The two Robbits vanished before the stranger's startled gaze.
Fido felt hot and ashamed. Stingo just felt Fido up. The two robbits crawled away into the corner of the room.
"Stop it!" hissed Fido, struggling to disentangle himself from Stingo's embrace. "Jam Spongee will kill you when he finds out."
"No he won't, we're invisible."
"Invisible or not it's not natural for us get this friendly," said Fido. "No good can come of it. Now let go of my ring!"
Stingo started crying.
"Shut up! People will hear us!" hissed Fido.
"I don't care!" I DON'T!" sobbed Stingo. "I love you, Mr - I love you Fido!" The tearful young Robbit reluctantly let go of the ring, and kissed Fido on the lips.
"Get off me!" said Fido.
"Well?" said Snider, as they re-appeared. "What possessed you to do that? It's much worse than anything Jam could have said. You've put your foot in it now, Fido, or should I say your knob?"
"I don't know what you mean," said the young Robbit, hurriedly buttoning up his breeches.
"Oh yes you do!" replied Snider. "Of all the places to hide this thing that was by far the stupidest. You'd better get out of here NOW if you want to avoid the tricky questions the company will be asking."
"Very well," said Fido in a trembling voice. "We'll go to our room.."
"That would be best," said Snider. "I will try to repair the damage you've done. But mind - I shall want words with you both later!"
"What about Jam?"
"After a few more beers he won't remember a thing."

"Oh Fido!" began Stingo when they were safely back in their bedroom. "I am so sorry..."
"It can't be helped, my lad", said Fido. "A strapping young Robbit gets very lonely on the road"
“No, not that,” said Stingo. “I meant slipping your ring off your — you know, your thing, and exposing you. I’m not ashamed of feeling you up. I love you!”
"Don't start that again," said Fido. "And take your hand off my knee. We are friends, close friends, but we can never be more than that."
"Oh Fido, darling! How can you be so cruel?"
"Now LOOK!" said Fido, grabbing the young Robbit's shoulders. "You - you're... Oh, how beautiful your eyes are when they're moist... No! Don't kiss me again! I won't have it!"
"Oh, Fido, dearest!"
"STOP IT. I want to make it quite clear that I am not interested in the contents of your pants, Stingo."
"You might be if you knew what I kept in them..."
Fido stepped back and held the lad at arm's length. "I flatter myself that my wide experience of the world has acquainted me with what a Gentlerobbit keeps in his pants," he said huskily.

"Then prepare to be amazed.."
"Oh no! You don't have a cute tattoo with the words, 'handle with care', do you?"
"No.."
Stingo took off his belt and slowly started to roll his leather breeches down his thighs.
"Or one of those unfashionable piercings?"
"Certainly not!"
"Please don't tell me you've painted your willy blue and trimmed your bush in the shape of a heart!"
"No, my love."
"Well, what could it possibly be?"
Stingo stepped out of his breeches and pulled down his pants.
"Prepare yourself for a shock"
"OH-MY-GOODNESS!"

Half an hour later Fido was lying naked in Stingo's arms, his lips brushing the young Robbit's fun-sized breasts.
"Now I know why you seemed so familiar," he said. "I can't imagine why I didn't see through your disguise."
"It was hell strapping my tits up every morning, I can tell you," said Stingo.
Fido sighed contentedly and lit up his pipe. "So what was all that 'Stingo' stuff about, then?"
"Because you would just have used me, and cast me aside like a worthless mathom when you had had your way with me, like so many Robbit lasses before me."
"Would I, my angel?"
"Yes - all the Shire knows what a notorious rogerer you are."
"Yes, that's true. But now I've come to really know you and love you, I want to marry you, Stingo!"
"Snowdrop", said Stingo.
"Yes, Snowdrop... what a cool name for such hot girl. Well, now I want to marry you, Snowdrop!"
"Oh Fido!"
"Oh Snowdrop!"
"Take me again, Fido!"

An hour later, the lovers were about to try it rabbit-fashion when the door was flung open, and Snider strode into the room. When he had locked the door carefully behind him, he confronted the two naked Robbits.
"Really!" he snorted, as Fido made a grab for Snowdrop's knickers. "This is too much. Put some clothes on before the others come back!"
"You don't seem very surprised that Stingo's a girl," said Fido, with one leg in his breeches, and the other wrapped around Snowdrop's slim waist.
"Only a complete knob-head would mistake a gorgeous body like that for a furry-footed GentleRobbit," said Snider with undisguised admiration.
"Thank you," smiled Snowdrop, slipping into a very revealing pink crop-top and frayed shorts which showed her trim waist and shapely legs off, to perfection.
Soon they were dressed and sitting by the fire. "You mentioned the Witch Queen earlier," began Fido hesitantly. "What do you know about her?"
"Several things," answered Snider with a leer. "But it'll cost you".
"What do you mean?" asked Snowdrop suspiciously.

"Just this; I will tell you what I know about the Witch Queen, and perhaps give you a few hints about repairing bicycles - but I shall want a reward."
"And what might that be?" said Fido. He had trusted Snider up to now because he'd had to, but now he suspected he'd fallen in with a dirty old perve. What was it Butterbore had said? 'e's one o' them wanderin' peddlers - numenorian rug trafficker, more like, by the number of strange packages that arrive for 'im.' He shifted uncomfortably and moved his hand closer to his sword. "If he tries to get into Snowdrop's pants, I'll kill him," he said to himself.
"You must take me with you."
"Oh!" said Fido, much relieved. "I thought—"
"I know what you thought, you randy little Robbit. But you'll meet worse things on the road than an old rug-peddler who hasn't had a shag in six months."
Snowdrop blushed. "Gosh... if it's really been THAT long, I could — I would, I mean, I might—"