Church denounces Pagan Christmas
By our Babe in the Manger, Miranda S Givings
|A controversial Christmas Nativity exhibition which opened today at the Church of St Sappho in Spitalfields, London, has raised howls of protest from angry visitors who have condemned it as 'immoral' and 'pagan.'|
The cause of their displeasure is a 'contemporary' interpretation of the Nativity that depicts a semi-naked, life-size Jesus wearing a Santa Claus hat, surrounded by an admiring group of Gay fishermen, Tax collectors and Soldiers bearing gifts of computer games, gold bling, iPods and sex toys. The 'Sapphic Solstice' exhibit has so outraged local residents that they've threatened to burn down the church if the authorities do not close the exhibition.
Utterpants chased after one immaculately dressed young mum as she struggled to reach her double-parked Mitsubishi Shogun and asked her what she thought of the exhibition.
'Slut Fest,' is precisely what the British press have dubbed the controversial exhibition, which has been roundly condemned by Church leaders as 'undermining the traditional Christmas values of abstinence, sobriety, frugality and quiet, religious observance.' But their complaints cut no ice with the charismatic organiser of the show, the stunningly attractive Rector of St Sappho's, Lucinda Mountjoy. The Rev. Mountjoy (27), a non-practising Wiccan and self-confessed 'girl lover', says she staged 'Sapphic Solstice' to draw the attention of the public to the glaring contradictions between the teachings of Jesus and the materialism and greed of practising Christians.
"I'm sick and tired of people banging on about the Pagan immorality of my exhibit," she told utterpants over a glass of organic grape juice in the Vestry. "What about the immorality and hypocrisy of stuffing your face with battery Turkey and buying mountains of useless crap to appease the greed of your screaming brats at Christmas? Not to mention vomiting on street corners, shagging your neighbour and beating the crap out of each other in arguments over who bought you brown socks this year? And then they have the bloody cheek to stagger into my midnight mass reeking of cooking sherry and cheap scent and accuse me of paganism!"
"Look, Mary Magdalene is almost always mentioned first in the lists of Jesus' disciples. The Bible goes on and on about how much he loved the women. Not a word about the blokes. He had droves of women running after him. They were always touching him and washing his feet. How many blokes do you think there were at his funeral?" added Lucinda abruptly.
The 'Sapphic Solstice' exhibition which runs until 4th January, has so far attracted 27,000 visitors, many of whom have come several times, in one case, rather noisily behind the grotto after having been over-excited by the sight of two female elves engaged in a very graphic act of 'Expressive Faith.' But not all visitors have reacted so positively to the Rev. Mountjoy's controversial Christmas message, as we discovered when we interviewed several of them outside the packed church.
One middle-aged Methodist parent dressed in a Santa Claus outfit, who asked to remain anonymous, was beside himself with anger at the depiction of three Fishermen and a Tax collector engaged in a graphic act of group sex, sodomy and bondage under a Christmas tree.
We put his complaint to the Rev. Mountjoy.
© 2005 Miranda Givings & utterpants.co.uk /161205