The picture (reproduced above), was taken during a candid photo-session at the White House earlier this week by British artist Michael Dickinson, after Karl Rove advised the President that he needed 'more exposure' to counteract the negative publicity generated by the controversial snap of ex-Iraqi President and respected humanitarian, Saddam Hussein, in his underpants, published by the Sun newspaper.

Despite reassurances from both Congolese Rice and Dick Cheney that the President's booty 'would show the Iraqi people the caring face of America', US newspapers and TV stations have shown a curious reluctance to publish the Bush pants pictures, culminating in what one bemused ex-Special Forces interrogator from West Virginia, called 'Tripod's 'un-American act of disloyalty and betrayal.'

Mr Bush was quick to stress he did not believe Michael Dickinson's artistic interpretation of US foreign policy would cause a backlash in Iraq. "I absolutely defy any newspaper, magazine, or televisual station who is presentified with my all-American ass to say it will cause a backlash among the freedomified and liberatorialised peoples of the wonderful country of Eyerack. Hell, I only did it to remind them ungrateful sons of terroristical insurgentories why we're there and the great things Halliburton have achieved," said Bush. "Why is it that our whining, liberal, pinko press didn't bat an eyelid when those disloyal British sonsofbitches printed a picture of Saddam Hussein in his scuzzy underpants? Jeez, that guy was wearing Wal-Mart boxers, for crissakes!"

Some cynics have suggested that President Bush only posed for the candid snaps to counteract claims that the release of Saddam Hussein's photo to the media by American authorities constituted a breach of the Geneva Convention. Others are fearful that in baring his Presidential credentials to an astonished world, George W Bush has invited more attacks on US and British soldiers in Iraq.

A furious Bush replied: "This is a complete approbation of the freedomification of expression. My ass is not obscene. Causing the death of countless thousands and maiming innocent men, women and children, is the real obscenatory. Our brave soldiers have sacrificed their lives to bring the benefitories of peace, free speech and the American way to Iraq."

Tasked to explain the presence of a black swastika on his right buttock, the outspoken Texan snake-oil salesman retorted angrily: "There aint no nazi shit tattooed on my heroic, god-fearing ass! Don't you folks know anything about modern art? My good buddies at the NRA have assurified me that it's a symbol of the Aryan purity of our great American nation that confirmifies my mission to bring democracy and freedom to the peoples of the world, whether that want it or not."
Unsurprisingly, President Bush also denied he had what one outraged US Rethuglican Baptist Senator from Ohio insisted was 'a cruise missile' exiting the Presidential sphincter in Michael Dickinson's photo.

"Missile! What goddamned missile?" snarled an apoplectic Bush. "Hell, that's Laura's personal massager. She and I were foolin' around during the photoshoot and I guess the artist must've thought it would be kinda neat to include a little domesticatory touch to reassure the Iraqi people that I'm just a home-lovin', god-fearing guy who has a bit of back trouble like any other fifty-nine-year-old American Joe."

A spokestypeperson for Lycos, whom we did not consult, but who's lawyers we fully expect to contact us in the very near future, is sure to dismiss Michael Dickinson's picture as 'pure fucking fiction,' and will no doubt request that our researcher stop calling them for quotes.

Editorial note: This article is satirical and published as a tribute to the artist, Michael Dickinson, who had the courage to publish a picture which we believe accurately depicts how many people around the world feel about President Bush and current US foreign policy today. The picture was originally published on Michael's three-year-old collage website — ‘Carnival of Chaos’ — hosted by Tripod (part of the Lycos Network). The site was closed on 21st May 2005 with no right of appeal when the artist added the image to it. Michael Dickinson is a member of the Stuckists art group, started in London in 1999 to promote freedom of expression and honesty in art. Group founder Charles Thomson told Utterpants: "We are behind Michael Dickinson all the way. Through our web site the story is now being picked up by other sites. No doubt Lycos thought they could get rid of this minor embarrassment like swatting a fly. However, now they are stirring up a hornets' nest." Utterpants are proud to be numbered among those websites that have had the courage to defy Lycos' cavalier ban and uphold the right of free speech and free-expression on the Internet. More of Michael's work can be found on the Stuckists website by clicking this link.

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Picture © Michael Dickinson 2005. Story, construction & design © utterpants.co.uk /080605