UK bans Fox News UK bans Fox News

by our man who is no stranger to a tea party in Boston, Derek Tree

Fox News, the impartial, state-controlled US news network owned by Rupert Murdoch, has been found in breach of British broadcasting rules for a live TV tirade that accused the British of "frothing-at-the-mouth anti-Americanism."

In a strongly worded statement released today, Sir Henry Cholmondely-ffoukes, the Chairman of Ofblair — the agency which licenses British commercial TV channels — fumed: "This is typical of those jumped-up colonial johnnies who think their favoured status gives them the right to insult the Empire! If I had my way I'd clap the lot of 'em in irons and hang the expense. It's not as if this country needs the few boatloads of beaver pelts and that revolting, fizzy brown muck they send us, is it? It's high time Her Majesty washed her hands of these ungrateful, loud-mouthed colonial upstarts and sold the bally lot of 'em to the Frenchies!"

Ofblair told Utterpants that they have received seven complaints about the offensive remarks, and several thousand from US citizens threatening to 'bust Sir Henry's ass', which surprised the eighty-one-year-old peer, as he does not even own a donkey. Not that outaged American dignity has prevented the garrullous ex-General from issuing a ruling forbidding Fox to broadcast into the UK. Sixty four previous rulings complaining about news items which promoted 'BSE-Free US beef' and extolled the virtues of American beer, have all been ignored by the impartial US news network.

This is a tricky issue for Ofblair: how to regulate channels which are not produced principally for viewers in the UK. The Greg Dyke Foundation for Independent Television, which preceded Ofblair, responded to complaints last year that Fox did not meet its strict "impartiality" rules by calling British citizens who had protested at the US invasion of Iraq, "a bunch of whining, gutless, commie assholes who'd sooner let Osama Bin Laden cream their butts than support our President's brave war on terror." Fox has defended its position by claiming that such statements are acceptable in the US, where more appropriate rules of accuracy and impartiality apply.

The Fox presenter, George W Busch (no relation), said in a news segment entitled 'Britain sucks' that Brits had "a frothing-at-the-mouth anti-Americanism that was obsessive, irrational and dishonest."
He went on to say that leading British politicians "felt entitled to lie and cheat, and when caught lying and cheating, felt entitled to defend their mendacity with empty rhetoric and the promises of lower taxes, cheap gas and full employment. That's not the way we do things here in America."

When Utterpants attempted to contact Mr Busch, we were told he was addressing a political rally in Neshoba County, Mississippi, together with a group of middle-aged men wearing tall, pointy white hats.

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