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Lindsay Lohan Satanic Sex Lust Lindsay Lohan Satanic Sex Lust
Coke snorting, bleach swallowing, Hollywood wild child confesses to satanic sex sessions with the Prince of Darkness
Lorenzo Cassanell reports
George Bush sings the praises of English George Bush sings the praises of English
In a brilliant initiatory designed to boost his flagging popularity, US President George W Bush has recommended that the US National anthem ought to be sung in English. Jennifer Gardner reports.
Ann Widdecombe in Latino Lover Denial Ann Widdecombe in Latino Lover Denial
In the wake of revelations about the sexual exploints of John 'Two Shags' Prescott, Ann Widdecombe MP, strongly refutes rumours regarding her own personal life. How Tenji reports.
Mississippi Outlaws Dildos Mississippi Outlaws Dildos
In a stunning legislative move, the Supreme Court of Mississippi has banned the sale, advertising, or exhibition of any three-dimensional device used primarily for sexual stimulation. Jenny Corvette reports
Food Giant in Tits for Milk Scandal Food Giant in Tits for Milk Scandal
Baby Food giant, Nastléy, offers free, silicone breast implants to teenage girls in a desperate bid to boost the flagging sales of its formula milk products. Keli McTaggart reports
The Evil of International Gnomery The Evil of International Gnomery
In the first of three special reports on the Evil of International Gnomery, Chairman Tenji addresses the nation in a rousing speech that reveals the full horror of the Gnome crisis gripping the country.
Pakistan unveils new Superweapon Pakistan unveils new Superweapon
Pakistan's President announced today that George W Bush would be joining the Pakistan cricket team when they tour England later this year.
David Green reports
Brits get bloody over Bloody Brits get bloody over Bloody
Britain's arbiters of good taste get their knickers in a twist over the use of the word 'bloody' in an Australian advert to promote tourism
Miranda Givings reports
Rapist Snow Joke says Police Chief Rapist Snow Joke says Police Chief
Mass panic, soiled panties, etc., as women flee in droves rather than risk a fate worse than death at the chilly hands of a rapist—or possibly another, stiffer part of his frozen anatomy. Jenny Corvette reports
Sex with Teacher Approved by School Sex with Teacher Approved by School
US Bible Belt in deep shock after a School Committee recommended a 28-year-old French teacher be allowed to have sex with a 14-year-old male student. Jeff Vachon reports
Swiss Sex Sweeps Sex Toy Industry Swiss Sex Sweeps Sex Toy Industry
British inventor launches what the press has dubbed 'the Swiss Army Knife of sex toys'
Miranda Givings & Donald Pitts report
Minister Wages War on Sick Britain Minister Wages War on Sick Britain
Millions of sick Britons could soon be refused medical treatment under new proposals announced by Health Secretary, Patricia Hewitt.
Miranda Givings reports
UK to Ban Smoking at Home UK to Ban Smoking at Home
Smokers face huge fines and jail sentences as government extends the recently announced smoking ban into the home of every private citizen. Miranda Givings reports
Google Censor: Exclusive Interview Google Censor: Exclusive Interview
In an exclusive interview with Utterpants, Google UK answer some tricky questions about Internet censorship.
How Tenji reports
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Teens  in Gnome Lust Orgy!
Teens in Gnome Lust Orgy!

Neve Milgo
Sex with Teacher Approved by School Sex with Teacher Approved by School
Jeff Vachon
Female Orgasm Secrets
Female Orgasm Secrets

Robin Scunthorpe
Harry Potter broom sweeps Britain
Harry Potter broom sweeps Britain

Keli McTaggart
Short, Fat Ugly Women Risk Heart Disease Short, Fat Ugly Women Risk Heart Disease
Keli McTaggart
Gnome Lovers Confess to Wild Sex Orgies Gnome Lovers Confess to Wild Sex Orgies
Neve Milgo
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