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Paris Hilton Playboy pictures faked!
Failed American porn star, Paris Hilton, lashed out at Playboy owner Hugh Hefner today

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Anna Nicole Smith stuffed again
Terrified customers witness frenzied hour-long eating binge

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Tara Reid hires person to fasten bra
Washed-up 'American Pie' actress and walking tit scaffold gets a helping hand

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Tsunami Victims: stay off Air Chris Evans
Displaced Asians plead with Chris 'carrot top' Evans NOT to return to the radio.

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Elton John to open Michael Jackson Trial
Alleged kiddie-fiddling Pop Superstar to be serenaaded by Sir Elton John

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'Hobbit' midgets sue Hollywood
Small people issue writs against the Tolkien Estate and NewLaid Cinema..

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Faria shagged me senseless says FA Chief
More buttock-clenching revelations by former FA secretary Faria Alam..

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Angry Pope ponders Ringo Radio Row
A furious row has broken out over the new Pope's choice of name..

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Paris Hilton did coke with George W Bush
President Bush received another blow to his popularity last night

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Hooker saves Disk Jockey's life
A national radio personality says he owes his life to a Dutch prostitute

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Tiny Dick to hang out at Super Bowl
Sir Paul McCartney has promised not to expose his 'credentials' at the Super Bowl

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BBC launch Bargain Pussy show
BBC announces the launch of a steamy new reality television show for dirty old men

Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie traumatized
Paris Hilton's pussy was terrorised by an overeager male beaver today

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Paris Hilton Playboy spread delayed
Fans in dismay over eagerly awaited Paris Hilton pictures

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Olsen Twins vow to save Beavers
Mary-Kate and Ashley sell their cherries to help some worn out old beavers

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Cher opens Beaver Sanctuary
Cher has opens Canadian Wildlife Sanctuary for tired, worn out old old beavers

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Satire site sweeps Fatuous Awards
Utterpants staff gatecrash pointless awards ceremony and get banged up in Texas

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Linda Ronstadt lynched by mob
Singer nearly lynched by the 'Knights of the Bush'; a ruthless terrorist organisation

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Miss Universe in nude picture scandal
Aussie slapper, Jennifer Hawkins, entangled in a bitter nude photograph scandal

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Don't go below — I've got JLo!
Businesswoman of the Year announces new line of feminine hygiene products

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I paid Avril Lavigne for sex says fan
A man reportedly paid 70,000 dollars to canoodle with the cheeky Canadian cutie

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Liv Tyler to move to The Shire
Warrior princess, Liv Tyler, plans to escape to The Shire for the birth of her first child

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Avril Lavigne dating F8KR girl
Canada's prickly princess of punk in hot, steamy babe bonking bonanza

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Jilted Ken tells of 'living hell' with Barbie
Dumped male doll reveals the "raging drug fuelled attacks" he regularly suffered

Monty Python: the Lord of The Rings
Whatever posterity may say, we are in no doubt that the very talented James Haines is a rarity among American humorists, who not only appreciates the silliness of British humour, but has captured its very essence in this pant-wettingly hilarious marriage of J R R Tolkien and Monty Python. Unlikely bedfellows at the best of times, James has not only managed to make their union utterly convincing, but also poke fun at the story without in any way diminishing the staggering achievement of Tolkien in writing it, nor Peter Jackson in bringing it to the silver screen. Click the picture above to read James' epic!
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