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Lindsay Lohan Satanic Sex Lust Lindsay Lohan Satanic Sex Lust
Coke snorting, bleach swallowing, Hollywood wild child confesses to satanic sex sessions with the Prince of Darkness
Lorenzo Cassanell reports
Talentless Slut Barbiex Talentless Slut Barbie
In an exclusive interview with Mattel boss, Matthew Bousquette, he reveals his corporate mission to turn all little girls into Barbies..
David Agosta reports
Sienna Miller Midget Lust Sienna Miller Midget Lust
Coke sniffing, bohemian socialite confesses to wild sex romp with a troop of midget sex performers who collectively go by the infamous stage name 'A little Cum.' Lorenzo Cassanell reports
BB evictee denies she did not have Sex BB evictee denies she did not have Sex
Big Brother evictee Michelle Cillicone lashed out at the reality voyeurdrama today after TV executives insisted she did not have sex on the show. Miranda Givings reports
ITV to show Adult Nursery Rhyme ITV to show Adult Nursery Rhyme
ITV bosses announced their new Autumn schedule today, including details of a new adult TV drama based on the popular children's nursery rhyme - 'Jack and Jill.' Mahoney Springwater reports
Sky no longer the limit for reality show contestants Sky no longer the limit for contestants
In an effort to control the massive rise in 'D-List' celebrities, all former reality TV show contestants will now be shot into space..
Donald Twain reports
Eva Herzigova Bares All Eva Herzigova Bares All
Sultry sexbomb, Eva Herzigova was in Purley recently as part of a nationwide tour to promote her new book, A Lovely Pair..
Hubris Cachet reports
Animal Big Brother hits problems Animal Big Brother hits problems
High hopes that Animal Big Brother would breath new life into the ailing genre of reality television, were dashed today..
Donald Twain reports
Nadia Almada to return to Big Brother Nadia Almada to return to Big Brother
Walking transsexual tit-scaffold, Nadia Almada, the elated winner of last year's Big Brother, has returned to the house to defend her crown, this
time in the form of a tin of Spam.. Hubris Cachet reports
Big Brother viewers tired of innuendo Big Brother viewers tired of innuendo
The somnolent town of Purley was thrown into disarray yesterday evening, when its entire population became temporarily weary
of titillation and double entendre.. Hubris Cachet reports
Tom Cruise: I'm not Gay! Tom Cruise: 'I'm not Gay!'
Utterpants staff writer, Dale Petrie, today received an unexpected press release from former Hollywood 'straight man', Tom Cruise, which finally refutes continuing allegations that the macho actor is gay..
Angelina Jolie rutted by Chocolate Moose Angelina Jolie rutted by Chocolate Moose
A mysterious videotape featuring highly talented, cock thirsty actress, Angelina Jolie, has been circulating the Utterpants offices like Februarys unsurprising Syphilis outbreak.. Lorenzo Cassanell reports
Tara Reid tits out (again)! Tara Reid Tits Out (again)!
Tara Reid, left the UK in a huff today after failing to raise an eyebrow among London's paparazzi, when her left boob 'accidentally' popped out during a security scan at Heathrow airport.. Brianna Banks reports
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