Britney shows off her Beaver
By our animal welfare correspondent,
|Ottawa, Canada — In surprise ceremony this week, the Canadian Government presented Britney Spears with a Canadian Beaver, the national symbol of Canada, in recognition of her outstanding contribution to Canadian Culture and her promotion of breast enlargements for teenage girls|
"We know that the public is anxiously waiting to see pictures of Britney Spears' beaver, and we are proud to show you such a good example of Canadian Heritage," officials stated in their press release.
When Utterpants contacted the popular teen tartlet, Ms Spears told us: "They travelled overseas to come visit me while in the hospital and gave me this wonderful present. They even gave me this totally awesome book, '101 ways to care for your Beaver'. A really sweet man told me to make sure my beaver gets lots of wood, particularly Canadian wood, as its the best. So, once I am released from the hospital, I plan to show off my beaver as often as possible. On stage, my beaver will be, like, so completely part of the show, and will be in all my publicity photos, y'know? I'm really looking forward to seeing all my fans and showing them my beaver."
When asked whether showing her beaver during her performances would distract from her singing, Ms. Spears replied, "Like hello? I think I know my priorities; my beaver is the most important thing in my life right now. I may not always have my looks, I may not always be able to lip sync as well as I do now, but I will always have my beaver."
Ms. Spears' publicist commented that once Britney's tour resumes, there will be a contest for fans to 'Name Britney's Beaver' and the winner will get to spend twenty-four hours with Britney and her loveable pet.
Story © 2004 Georgia Prince. Picture & Design © 2004 utterpants.co.uk/ 160704