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The Evils of CoffeeThe Evils of Coffee
Mercy Dannenberg blows the poisonous froth off the greatest evil ever to threaten the health and wellbeing of women

"Nine out of ten prostitutes are habitual coffee drinkers, seven out of ten women convicted of shop-lifting admitted to drinking coffee only hours before the offence, and almost all female car thieves drink coffee.."

OR click here to go straight to Dr Stockley's shocking pamplet about the Evils of Coffee!
The following article is an abridged copy of a booklet first published in London, in 1922, by Dr E F Stockley, a physician of considerable notoriety in his native land, who was forced to flee the city of Cleveland, Ohio in 1921, after allegations of 'gross professional misconduct' in connection with his work at a pioneering health resort for unmarried, teenage mothers. I found it amongst the papers of my illustrious great-grandmother, Dr Clarissa McTaggart, who was a Consultant Gynaecologist at St Thomas' Hospital, in London, until her retirement in 1908, and an outspoken critic of the fashionable vice of coffee drinking which was then percolating down through the strata of British Society

The evils of coffee Ezra Franklin Stockley, MD is a name that may not be unfamiliar to our older readers as the renowned inventor, in 1893, of the 'Onanatron'—an anti-masturbation device for young girls and unmarried women which enjoyed a huge popularity in the mid-western United States until the first of many scandals caused him to seek sanctuary in England. In addition to his many patented inventions, ranging from the aforementioned instrument of 'moral rectitude' to an electrical apparatus for eviscerating turkeys, Dr Stockley was the author of a number of authoritative papers on a wide range of medical topics. In 1904, for instance, he published a monograph on 'The efficacy of Cocoa Butter chest rubs in augmenting breast development', to much critical acclaim. This was followed in 1908 and 1909 with several papers on 'The role of Fish Oils in preventing conception' and 'Electromagnetical methods of penis enlargement in Tool Fitters'. What is less well known is that Dr Stockley was an outspoken critic of the new fashion of Coffee drinking which was sweeping America and Britain in the 1920s and '30s. has almost completely destroyed all decency and morality in the United States

His booklet, simply entitled: 'The Evils of Coffee: the scourge of modern womanhood', caused a huge furore when it was first published and resulted in new legislation being hastily drafted on both sides of the Atlantic to restrict the sale and consumption of this now universal beverage to males over the age of twenty-one. However, Dr Stockley's victory was short-lived as the prohibition was repealed within days in England—some sources say within minutes—after pressure from coffee distributors and the much more urgent threat to Women's fertility posed by the wearing of synthetic undergarments. Uncharitable souls have suggested that the discovery that Dr Stockley was a major shareholder in J Lyons and Son Ltd—at that time the biggest coffee importer in the world— may have been a contributory factor in overturning these prohibitions.

Dr Ezra Franklin Stockley MDThe controversial physician's fall from grace was accelerated when nine women alleged that the novel methods he had employed in administering coffee enemas to them, had resulted in several cases of inexplicable weight gain. Finally, in 1942, he was struck off the British Medical Register when a new, electrical device for the relief of period pains he had invented, was blamed for an outbreak of nymphomania among nurses on the Western Front—or possibly the back. Undaunted by these minor setbacks to a long and distinguished career, Dr Stockley continued to experiment upon young women and denounce the evils of coffee until his death in 1946, from syphilis, whilst researching the effects of American candy bars on the health of prostitutes in Paris.

Those of my readers who are of a nervous, excitable disposition are strongly advised not to read Dr Stockley's paper as it contains a number of statements that hardened female coffee drinkers may find deeply offensive and distressing. Personally, I loathe the filthy muck and the plethora of 'designer' coffee houses in which its multitudinous varieties are dispensed by surly girls to people stupid enough to imagine that hot water with a bit of grit in it, topped off with what looks like rancid cottage cheese, is remotely drinkable, never mind worth four quid a plastic cup.

Nine out of ten prostitutes are coffee drinkers!

Those of you who are made of sterner stuff, whether enslaved to this drug or not, will, I am sure, find much in Dr Stockley's paper to instruct and surprise you. But please don't blame me if you are violently sick or decide to sue Starbucks for ruining your health. That's your problem; no one forced you to drink the filthy stuff, now did they?

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© 2005 Mercy Dannenberg. Images and construction © 2005 / 310305
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