Amusing Aliens
The Day the Earth Moved
Would you rather read this offline in PDF format? Click here to download it.
Chapter 10. Retribution

"Ms Romola Cassandra Spencer?"
"I am Inspector Plodder and these are my colleagues from the Purley Vice Squad. I arrest you for keeping a disorderly house and living off immoral earnings. Boddington, take three men and search the flat! I want that bitch naked, WPC French! If she complains, cuff her!"
Tracy French pinned Romola to the wall, twisted her right arm up behind her shoulder blade, and kicked her legs apart. "My pleasure, Sir!"
"Just a minute!" said Sophie. "You can't just barge in here and arrest Romola on some trumped up charge!"
"And who might you be, madam?"
"THE madame, more like," said WPC French, running her eyes enviously over Sophie's expensive Calvin Klein frock and emerald earrings.
"Lady Sophie Mountjoy," said Sophie coldly.
"You're under arrest too", said Inspector Plodder, seizing her arm. "Now get your clothes off!
"Take your filthy paws off me, you horrible little man!"
"I'd watch your mouth if I were you," snapped WPC French. "We know all about the games your sweet little sister has been playing here."
Sophie shook the inspector's hand off her arm and laughed.
"You think sex between an alien and a minor is amusing, do you?" asked Plodder.
"No, I was thinking how funny you'd look in a pointy blue hat when the Chief Constable puts you back on the beat."
"And why should he do that?"
"Because you've just arrested the daughter of the Marquis of Staines on the evidence of a certified looney who believes in aliens."
The policeman spun round to confront Gerald. "Is this true, Mr Bolton?"
"I am an outpatient at the Purley mental hospital, Inspector, yes."
"Since when?"
"Since my nervous breakdown."
"Can you prove that?"
"Here is a letter from my Doctors."

The inspector snatched the note from Gerald's hand, scanned it briefly and threw it down with a snarl of rage. "I'll get you for this, Bolton!" he muttered under his breath and rounded on Sophie. "What about all the money?"
"What money, Inspector?" asked Sophie innocently.
"Boddington! Where's the fucking money?" shouted Plodder.
"Er — there isn't any, Sir." replied the policeman, running back into the room.
"Did you check the bedroom?"
"Yes sir. Lady Charlotte Mountjoy and her sister Victoria are lying on the bed reading."
"Fully dressed?"
"Yes sir."
"Reading what?"
"Er...the Police Gazette, sir..."
"Have you found the fucking alien?"
"Er —no Sir."
"You won't get away with this, you know! I'll not be made a fool off! We have the space ship under twenty four hour surveillance!"
One of the officers took a call on his radio, reddened and passed it to the inspector. The inspector put it to his ear and then flung it across the room. "Blast! I'll get you for this — you, you fucking bitches!"
"Don't tell me you've found another bouncy castle, inspector?" asked Sophie.
"Release them!" said the Inspector through clenched teeth. "And let's get out of here!"
The door slammed behind them.

Romola collapsed into Gerald's arms and burst into tears. "How long... how long have I got, Soph?"
"Your whole life, my darling", said Gerald, kissing away the tears running down her cheeks.
"You passed out before I could finish", began Sophie. "Mice only live for two years. A week to them is like eight months to you and me and they had a hundred times as much of the stuff as we did. I think we'll live long enough to draw our pensions."
"Are you sure?" asked Romola doubtfully.
"The rash has gone, hasn't it?"
"Yes, but..."
"And the craving?"
"And the spontaneous orgasms?"
"They were a bit embarrassing..."
"There you are then — we're cured, " said Sophie.
"Have you told the others?" asked Romola.
"No — I thought you should do that. But I did tell Gerald."
"He deserved to know the truth, Romola. We've treated him dreadfully. Or rather you have."
"You're the one who started Yyerg on the chocolate."
"What's that got to do with anything?"
"Everything, actually. Without the chocolate his cum has no effect on humans. It's the chocolate that triggers the chemical changes that turn it into a drug."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because there were traces of chocolate in the sample Mark analysed. When he removed it the stuff broke down into harmless compounds."
"Where's Yyerg now?"
"Back on his ship making the final repairs."
"Oh Gerald! I've been such a fool..."
Gerald drew her closer and their mouths met in a long, lingering kiss.

© 2003 Miranda S Givings. Revised 24th April 2006
The Day the Earth MovedAlien Abduction, mindless sex, and chocolate addiction in 11 sizzling chapters
Alien Abduction: the sextastic truth Alien Abduction: the sextastic truth
Lola Chevrolét uncovers a shocking conspiracy
Protect yourself from Alien Abduction!
Girls - don't be abducted by Aliens!
Ipswich abducted by aliens I was abducted by Aliens
Ipswich man tells of his shocking ordeal
How to spot an illegal alien
How to spot an Illegal Alien
Alien ContactAlien Contact
Why aliens will never, ever visit the Earth again...
Hot Alien Sex Hot Alien Sex!
Funny green creatures do what comes naturally
Funny Stories
Ms Givings answers your personal problems
SciFi Humour
Satire News Stories
SciFi Humour
Porn not found
SciFi Humour
Get Firefox and rediscover the Web